I don't know what it is about having a 4th child, but holy moly, it's a TON of work. It feels like 4 is twice (if not 3 times) as hard as 3. Heck 3 kids sounds like a vacation :) And my baby is super easy - I can't imagine what life would be like with a fussy, more challenging baby. Maybe it's because all 4 of my kids are on different schedules - full day school, half day kindergarten, toddler, and infant... I think next year when Miles is in all day school it will be much easier. Or maybe it's because Mike's job is demanding and he's not around as much. Or maybe it's just because this is life and it's supposed to be hard. Whatever the reason, some days I feel like I'll never catch up. Good thing I love my kids and wouldn't trade it for anything. It's just hard at times and that's all there is to it.
One of the hardest things about life for me right now is finding time and a desire to exercise. I started running a couple months ago, and it has been killing me to be consistent. I'll go a couple times and then let a week or two pass before going again. I just can't find my rhythm. And I forgot just how hard it is to run. It's hard, it's painful, it's daunting. And 4 kids really took a toll on my body - and I'm getting old. I'm going to have to work that much harder to get back to where I was. It just doesn't sound fun.
But I desperately want to be back. Terribly! And I'm finally at a place where I want it enough to do something about it. I've started making myself push through the misery and I've finally reached a new level. After 2 months I was finally able to run 4 miles without stopping. It felt so good (even though it's ridiculous how slow I am! It looks like I'm walking really). Oh well, I'm on my way. Now I just need to turn up the heat and add a little pressure. I am going to sign up for a half marathon in July and start a training schedule. It may possibly kill me, only time will tell :)
Anyway, I'm trying to organize my life. Since I feel like time is something I have very little of, I realized I need to use every little bit I have being productive. So you may have noticed we aren't friends on facebook any more... Don't take it personally. I just had to eliminate all the time suckers out of my life. I can't have anything around that will tempt me to waste the precious time I have.
I will however keep blogging since I do feel like that is important. I love journaling and I know my kids will love looking back at their young lives.
Like my cute little Meg. She loves her exersaucer and looks adorable in it!
And she has found her feet! She just bends right in half!
